Protecting Children From Exposure to Pornography

As a mother of five children I am continuously watching out for those things that will help or hinder my children’s growth. I want to give them the best chance of succeeding in this life.  A powerful emerging obstacle to that success for all children is increasing access to pornography. Viewing pornography has been named a public health crisis and is affecting our children in large numbers.  Many petitions have been created to ask our government to give us the option of opting out of receiving pornographic sites through our internet service providers. These petitions never get enough signatures to pass. Our society needs to understand the impact pornography is having on this new generation and make the necessary changes to protect their future.

While there are those that argue pornography is a normal part of life, and even an expression of art, many doctors, scientists, and psychologists are speaking out and sharing what they know about this harmful addiction. In 2004, Dr. Jeffrey Satinover, M.S.M.D, shared with congress the following thought; “I respectfully submit to this committee that modern science allows us to see that this is an illusion: Pornography is mere “expression” only in the trivial sense that a fall from the Empire State building is a mere stumble—since it’s hitting the ground that’s fatal. Or, that cigarettes don’t cause cancer, it’s the burning smoke that’s the problem.”

Dr. Satinover goes on to describe how viewing pornographic images produces a chemical in the brain that acts like a drug more addicting and harmful than heroin.  There has been a staggering increase in the number of kids under the age of twelve viewing pornographic images. In 2015, the BBC News reported, “of 700 kids, one in five had seen pornographic images that had shocked and disturbed them.”  This increase has come with the advent of the internet. Children are learning about sex through powerful images while their brains are still growing. Long before a first kiss or a first dance, they have watched men and women act out in violent, degrading behaviors, all in the name of sexual intimacy. How are these children expected to grow up and have healthy relationships with the people around them? Numerous studies find they do not.

Kids grow up feeling like they can never have a normal girlfriend or boyfriend. Even their friendships at school are affected by their desire to be at home, by themselves, watching more pornography to feed their addiction.  We must protect our children from these experiences, at least until they are old enough to differentiate right from wrong.

In 2013, areas of Europe required customers to go to their internet service providers to “opt in” to pornographic content. While this solution did not completely fix the problem, it dramatically reduced the incidences of children involuntarily exposed to these images.

Additional ideas to stop the destructiveness of child exposure to pornography include requiring all pornography sites to register as .xxx domain. This requirement would allow .xxx sites to be more effectively filtered using existing technology.  

It has been argued that these types of filters would allow parents to become lazy in their responsibility of preventing children from viewing sexual images. Statistics show that one out of five 12 year-olds have been exposed to pornographic videos and images, revealing parents are already remiss in safeguarding their children. (BBC News)

It is time to rally together and make a choice to protect our future generations. We must take greater responsibility for creating an environment in which our children may forge more meaningful and fulfilling relationships with others. Now is the time to make the necessary changes. Ten year-old children should not be acting out their sexual fantasies. Sexual violence and assaults should not be part of a young person’s daily viewing. We must make the choice to free them from this destructive addiction by requiring Internet Service Providers to give households an opt-in/ opt-out choice for pornography access. Those who hide behind declarations of freedom of speech are thinking only of themselves. We are fighting for a future generation’s freedom from an addiction that, as other addictions, destroys a child’s freedom to live a normal life. 

Questioning

I have been taught that in the life before this one we were presented with a plan which would allow us to progress. We were given the option to follow the plan or to reject it. This was a big decision for us to make. The consequences of our choice would be eternal. I believe that the Lord allowed us to ask questions and gave us some time to think it all through.  The Lord wanted us to understand and be confident in the choice that we were making. That pattern continues on the earth today. We are encouraged to ask questions and seek the answers with faith.

Gordon B Hinkley said; “As a Church, we encourage gospel scholarship and the search to understand all truth. Fundamental to our theology is belief in individual freedom of inquiry, thought, and expression. Constructive discussion is a privilege of every Latter-day Saint.”  In the Book of Mormon, Moroni promises us that if we study, ponder, and ask the Lord if the Book of Mormon is true, we will receive an answer.  Before we ask we must have a question.  Elder Russell shared this thought with a group of youth; “You will hear allegations that the Church is ‘anti-intellectual.’ … You are the greatest evidence to refute such an erroneous statement. Individually, you have been encouraged to learn and to seek knowledge from any dependable source.”  If this is true, then why do some people feel as if their questions lead to excommunication?

In an Ensign article published in March of 2015, Adam Kotter explained the difference between doubting and questioning.  “Sincere questions are those asked with “real intent” (Moroni 10:4) to better understand and more fully obey the will of the Lord. A sincere questioner continues to be obedient while searching for answers. By contrast, I have seen that when people doubt their beliefs, they often suspend their commitment to commandments and covenants while waiting for answers. The doubter’s posture is generally to withhold obedience or limit it, pending resolution of the doubts.” If this is the case, the person who is doubting is actually separating themselves from the Spirit as they are seeking for answers. Without the Spirit there to testify and protect them, it seems a person would inevitably move further away from the gospel. Satan will find every opportunity to separate us from what is right and true.  Questioning and seeking answers is encouraged; doubting and turning away from the Lord is discouraged. How should we handle doubts and questions in our own lives?

We need to remember that having questions is normal and right. We are encouraged to seek out answers to our questions and turn to the Lord. When the prophet or apostles speak we have been asked to pray to know for ourselves if what has been said is true. We should always be studying, pondering, and praying. If we find ourselves having doubts we need to hold tight to the covenants that we have made as we try to work through those doubts. Search to find what the questions are behind the doubts, and sincerely pray to find answers. If we follow this counsel, as Moroni said, “…by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.”

Our Responsibility

Quoted from "The Family: A Proclamation to the World"

"HUSBAND AND WIFE have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations."

There is so much in that paragraph I could discuss. There are so many extremely important responsibilities that are not being taken seriously. The first thing mentioned is that, "Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children."
The world today does not feel that it is our responsibility to love our spouse, many people feel it is something that should be earned. I made promises to my husband when I married him that I would love him. It is my responsibility to keep my promises. 
I am aware that there are situations that require divorce; abuse of any kind, pornography addictions that can not be overcome, extensive cheating... However, the "no fault" divorce is something that is becoming far too common. What does this do to children who no longer have that stability? 
I am grateful that I am married to someone who is willing to work as hard as I am to stay married. I know that we have both been upset with each other over various things in our marriage. I also know that we both work hard to love and forgive. I am grateful for parents that taught me marriage is a lot of work, but it is also worth the work. 
My husband and I also stress to our children how important it is that he and I spend time together alone. We make sure that we go on dates and have conversations about life. It is in those moments that we remember how much we LIKE each other. 
It is our responsibility to provide a loving home for our children. That includes loving our spouse.

The Lord Will Provide a Way

One morning while struggling to get my then three year old daughter ready for church, she looked up at me and stated, “Mom, I don’t want to go and do the things the Lord commands!”  At that moment I could completely relate to my daughter.  There have been times since, that those words, spoken with exasperation, have entered my own thoughts.  Sometimes the things that are asked of us seem hard, or too much.  It is during those times I have to turn to one of the things I truly believe.  I believe the Lord will provide a way for us to accomplish the things that He has asked us to do.

From the time I was young, I learned this concept through song lyrics and scriptures.  “I know the Lord provides a way, He wants me to obey!”  It was not until I was older that I was given opportunities to really test this concept out.  When my husband and I were asked if my youngest brother could come and live with us, we did not know if we were up to the task.  He was frequently bullied and my parents felt like he needed a fresh start somewhere.  We were worried about being able to handle his emotional needs while also raising our own young family.  My brother’s heart was still raw from mistreatment; His sense of self- worth was diminished to nothing.  Through much prayer we realized that the Lord wanted us to take my brother in.

It has been nearly six years since my brother graduated from high school and moved back home. He spent a year and a half living with us.  That time was a blessing to both our family and to him.  My husband and I learned so much from the experience.  The Lord provided us with the abilities and extra love that were needed to care for him.  Our hearts grew as we saw situations and understood more fully what he was going through.  We were able to give our own three children the continued love and support that they needed from us.  My brother’s testimony grew as he was able to share his gospel knowledge with those around him.  He had never lived in an area that was not saturated with people of his faith.  His confidence grew as people were drawn to him and the light that he had.  The Lord provided a way for all of us.

At this time in my life, I am staring again at an experience that seems outside of my abilities.  I can 
feel the internal struggle as my mind yells out, “I don’t want to go and do the things that the Lord 
commands.  I don’t know if I can.”  Then my soul speaks soothingly to me and reminds me of the 
things that I believe, the things that I know; “The Lord will provide a way”.  The blessings will 
certainly come as I need them and I will be shown the way. 

Keeping the Sabbath Day (Sort of) Holy

Today my family of seven went to church. We were there for about 15 minutes before my four year-old started acting up. He was throwing colored pencils and fighting with his sister. Half way through the sacrament I dragged him out. Literally, dragging happened.

Then, within 15 minutes of arriving home after church meetings, I was dragging my four year-old to his bedroom. Literally, dragging happened…AGAIN!. This time he had bitten his older brother on the face.  Aside from the need to determine what evil spirit had taken over the four year old (and how I could exercise it), my thoughts turned to how we were going to keep this day restful and worshipful.

Why do we continue to take our kids to church every week, even when it can be really hard? Why do we strive to keep Sunday peaceful and worshipful?  The final answer is because we love the Lord and we love our children. My husband and I both have parents that pushed through the crazy and took us to church every week. We were both blessed with a strong foundation in the gospel. Our leaders have asked us to dedicate this day to the Lord, and so we will.

I know that this “sacrifice” yields so many blessings. I know that it is not a sacrifice at all when measured with what my family receives from making these efforts. We will continue to take our crazy “monkey” children to church, and we will continue to drag them out when necessary. My prayer is that my children will do the same for their families.

A Proclamation To The World

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THE FAMILY

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A PROCLAMATION TO THE WORLD

The First Presidency and Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

WE, THE FIRST PRESIDENCY and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.

ALL HUMAN BEINGS—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.

IN THE PREMORTAL REALM, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshipped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize their divine destiny as heirs of eternal life. The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.

THE FIRST COMMANDMENT that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.

WE DECLARE the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed. We affirm the sanctity of life and of its importance in God’s eternal plan.

HUSBAND AND WIFE have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.

THE FAMILY is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.

WE WARN that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.

WE CALL UPON responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.

This proclamation was read by President Gordon B. Hinckley as part of his message at the General Relief Society Meeting held September 23, 1995, in Salt Lake City, Utah.